Sadness.
Anger with the Prodigal.
Frustration with the Coach.
Confusion. Angst. Fear.
Sadness.
A week ago last night we sat in our family room as Coach
laid out the new strategy.
He was to
increase.
We were to decrease.
He was to be the Bad Ass.
We were to be just parents.
He would be the Enforcer.
We were to be still and fade into the
background.
Ask no questions. Give no instructions.
Allow the Coach to do his job.
The original plan was to be revamped.
For The Prodigal to go to his center daily
…if even for a short
while.
He was to have daily
assignments.
Come out of the isolating in his room.
He was to go to three
meetings.
He was to talk to his
sponsor daily.
The Coach and Prodigal were to
work through his supposed depression together.
Prodigal has receded into the darkness and a
life of “my way.”
Why?
Confronting Coach gave no answers.
Coach says he will throw him out.
Ask him to leave because the Prodigal has not
followed through.
I’m so confused. Not
sure what to do.
Where to go with all
these feelings?
A parting comment from the Coach last night; “Have you
considered that the Prodigal could be bi-polar? It would account for much of his strange
behavior over the last few weeks”.
Later…alone
with Prodigal Papa, he discounts this by saying he’s much more concerned with
the med that our son has been on for over a year.
A drug given to aid his sleep as a result of
the destruction that the opiates have wreaked on his body and brain.
An anti-psychotic intended for a whole
different use.
Dangerous and addictive
in its own right.
One I have struggled
with from the start.
But, after further research...
a drug that is sometimes used to combat both bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.
Is there more that the Prodigal is not telling us?
Keeping from us?
As a believer in
alternative medicine and meds as a last and final resort, it has never sat well
with me that he is on this.
So many
things to be concerned with.
Most that I
just have to let go of.
This was one.
I have asked counselors and medical professionals about
bi-polar and our Prodigal.
Any possible
dual-diagnosis which is commonplace with addicts.
The answers have all been the same.
NO
And yet…the googled description fits him to a T...
Three weeks ago I thought we were
progressing. Doing well.
A happy, healing family.
A happy, healing family.
When this ‘change’ came seemingly out of
nowhere.
Caught me by total
surprise.
In reflection…seemed to follow
close on the heels of a sighting of an ex-girlfriend at an event that took our
Prodigal by surprise.
Seemed to send him
into a 48 hour tailspin. Or more.
The tailspin
seemed to be the turning point that led to a buying spree on e-bay
….and a
subsequent ‘entrepreneurial’ bend that he went on declaring some grandiose
ideas he had in regard to business
…and an inability to focus
…which ultimately
led up to announcement that he needed to quit his job.
To not pay his bills, shun all form of personal responsibility unable to grasp
the severity of his passiveness
…and then a downward spiral that has brought us
here.
Agitation.
Passive-aggressive behavior.
Sleeplessness.
Lethargy.
Odd behavior.
And possible drug
use.
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