An Anonymous Blog...
An anonymous blog
A deliberate decision
A hard hurdle
To protect the prodigal that I love
I’m not really sure if it’s wise…or necessary…but it’s the decision that I’m making for now
Maybe later I will decide that the anonymity can be erased in favor of full disclosure but for now the names will be changed…not to protect the innocent but to protect the guilty
I’ve thought long and hard about this blog. Is there a purpose to it? Is it just for me? Is my personal journal sufficient? Could a blog help others that are on a similar path?
My prayer has been, “God, please heal my hurts and allow me to serve others that are hurting as a result of this disease called addiction.”
I’m sure there are many people out there more qualified than I to discuss this disease and how it affects the family but my deepest desire is to come along side those fellow mama’s (and papa’s, too) that have been blindsided as I was and to bring them hope and healing and companionship for the journey. It’s a journey that I have thankfully not had to travel alone. Yet I know that others have. Shame and guilt are two side effects of this family disease and if you don’t have the tools to process the feelings, the consequences can be deadly…both literally and figuratively.
This blog has really morphed from another blog that had been started when I still lived in a bubble. A bubble that I enjoyed and believed was well-deserved because of good decisions we had made…sacrifices along the way….Godly choices in our marriage and in our parenting. A bubble that, in retrospect, was full of pride…albeit unintentional. (Is pride ever intentional?) A life-altering day burst that bright and beautiful bubble into a ruin of rubble. I have lived the last four years with a loss of innocence…brokenness….and a come-to-Jesus humility I couldn’t conceive of. It is in that brokenness that I have met grace head-on in the person of Jesus.
A faith-filled follower for more than 40 years was reduced to a bruised, battered and broken believer for the last nearly 4 years. Slowly I am allowing God to restore the years that the locusts have eaten and to rebuild my life in my new normal. A normal that cannot be defined in human terms but one that is defined by God’s great mercy and faithfulness.
This blog is my story
My journey
My walk with God through the hills and the valleys with a prodigal
And…it is with God…in the sand…at the sea…I find my serenity
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