Monday, August 27, 2012

August 17th...Family Dinner





It wasn’t the same. 
Our family dinner night.
  
The night I look forward to all week long.
  The Prodigal was here.  But not really.  
There was a heaviness.  
A knowing.  
A recognition that our family was on tilt.  
My daughter noticed it to.  
A big elephant in the middle of the room but no one saying a thing.

What is my role?  
Coach says to just be Mom.  What does that look like?  
That’s what I thought I’d been doing for the last many months.  Since the Prodigal moved back home.  
Is asking, “how was your day” out of line? 

His days have changed.  
He’s taken a leave of absence from work to get “well.”  
To decompress.  
To work on the depression.  
To process through a myriad of emotions.  
To work on his spiritual life…or so he says.

I hate being on the side-lines.  
Feeling like I’m way up in the stands.  
In the nose-bleed section.  
Seeing the plays from a distance but having little ability to really “see” or comprehend what is going on. 

Uncomfortable is an understatement.  

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