Parallels

Fitful Sleep

Tossing and turning

A phone rings

My heart jumps…I race

To reach the call

Thoughts swirl

Of past calls

Crisis in the night

With the Prodigal

The nursing home

Where my mother lives

And father died

The name

Bold across the screen

She’s in distress

Vomiting blood

The orders show

No life preserving measures

And once again

My heart aches

The choices…

all up to me

My brother of no use

Caught in his own cycle

Of abuse and addiction

Useless to the decision-making

Her cancer is progressing

The signs it surely seems

How long is long enough

To live

No faith walk, No God

All alone

In the South…

A place I never lived

Drifting in and out

Of reality

One day lucid

The next day, not

3000 miles away

By herself

Retired to a town

Now…all alone

Choices once made, beyond my control…

This journey with my parents

A backdrop

A parallel

To this 4 year journey

With my Prodigal

Fully Awake

And still dark

I move about

Thoughts drifting back

To family dinner

Last night

The Prodigal came

To play with his niece

To share in her joy

And laughter

He adds so much

When he’s sober

When he’s clean

When he contributes

To our family

Processing snippets of thoughts

Aroused in the angst of sleep

Of conversations

Had with the Prodigal

The dichotomy of his life

So sane on certain subjects

So impulsive and compulsive

On others…

So hard to figure out

The job interviewed for

Offered and declined

Too stressful…for now

A trip next week-end

To a conference up north

With the old girlfriend

Living on credit

Making ends meet

Waiting for the unemployment check

A 3am plan

To stand in line

For the new iphone 5

Utter nonsense to me

Yet not for an addict

Entitled

A Prodigal

The doorbell rang

As we were clearing the table

The neighbors, our friends

Unexpected, came to visit

Their kids, our kids, us

Friends for years

Walking life together

Good times and Bad

Their children

Both married

One with child

One on the way

And I see

What I thought was within reach

The “perfect” family

Healthy, wealthy and wise

The truth

The contrast

Shining like a blinding light

Into the eyes of my soul

Don’t compare

I hear the admonishment

Over and over…

and over again

But the dream

Seemed so close

Within reach

Once upon a time

They leave

The Prodigal leaves

Daughter, Son-in-law, granddaughter leave

I stay…and I pray

For the lost Prodigal

Who needs to find his way

Who has to want to get well

Who needs His God to help him see

The truth